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Joke of the Day

"Doc: This pill may cause: Heart attack, stroke, minor weight gain, and death Me: WOAH BACK UP, weight gain? I'm out."

"2010 prediction: Tiger Woods will leave golf entirely and begin a career in politics, where sex scandals are more widely accepted."

"Did you hear about the man who opened a yacht showroom? Sales went through the roof."

"I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ..."

"Now that it's abandoned nudes, I hope Playboy goes with its other major brand identity and becomes a magazine about a very fancy rabbit."

"A bear is asking a rabbit a question ""Don't you have problems with shit sticking on your smooth fur?"" Rabbit goes : Naaah, I don't have a problem with that. So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit."

"Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes."

"I only believe 2 things 1. Respect a woman that says no 2. Never take no for an answer"

"Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior? They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire - this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*"

"I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work."