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Joke of the Day
"One night I dreamt that I was a muffler... I woke up exhausted."
Next Joke
"Do you like Christmas? Then why don't you merry it?"
"What idiot called him Alexander graham bell instead of lord of the rings"
"The joke about The bed hasn't been made up yet. And the joke about the kitchen... Well, it's too dirty to tell. I have plenty more of these."
"You know you're old when You see your favorite pornstar under the milf category"
"I can't get out of bed. These blankets has accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust!"
"Tell me you love me. Then get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich and let me play my video games so I know it's real"
"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb Juan."
"ME: I give you all my love and infection. HIM: Um. Don't you mean love and 'affection'? ME: ... HIM: ... ME: You should get tested."
"What do zombie vegans eat? ... Grains!!!"