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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man? A: A car thief who can't drive!"

"HEY TWITTER IF I WANTED 10,000 CHARACTERS THAT I WASN'T INTERESTED IN I WOULD START WATCHING GAME OF THRONES"

"""You won't like me when I'm angry. Because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources."" The Credible Hulk."

"""Mommy mommy in school the kids call me shampoo"" ""Come on Johnson no more tears"""

"5 year old son: I want to be a boxer. Me: I think you're too cute to be a boxer. 5: Yes, that is what everybody will think."

"As a man, it's impossible to walk passed a punching bag and not hit it twice before walking away."

"I want to get one of those LA hats everyone has nowadays When people go to ask me ""hey man, are you from Los Angeles?"" I'll be like ""nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"""

"Did you hear about the new skat porno? it's full of shit"

"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everybody. A bitch sleeps with everybody but you."

"I wonder how long it took Lincoln to decide that just saying ""87 years"" wasn't nearly hip enough."