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Joke of the Day

"If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss"

"""Huge hole found growing on surface of Sun"" *drops string cheese* ""This hole is no cause for alarm"" *picks up string cheese*"

"A long time ago, I thought of a soda joke. I'd share it with you, but I'm afraid I think it'd fall flat."

"What do you call a cute shortcoming? Flaww"

"What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe? An e-mergency."

"Today's kids play TSA agent instead of doctor."

"Moms are like feet [NSFW] The more you talk about them in public, the more everyone assumes you want to have sex with them."

"Why do the riot police like to go to Black Friday early? So they can beat the crowd"

"Me: Would you have a minute to speak about my lord and savior, nachos supreme? Her: Sir, for the last time just tell me your order."

"How come the only people who can open childproof lids are children? My nephew charges me two vicodin just to open the bottle."