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Joke of the Day

"That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid."

"Like a Boss - Employee Gets Owned! Boss: ""Send me one of your funny jokes."" Employee: ""I'm working at the moment. I will send you one later."" Boss: ""That was fantastic! Send me another one!"""

"I bought a high end stereo with a broken volume knob for $10. I couldn't turn it down."

"Someone needs to open a bar called ""The Gym"". Then I too can be annoying on Facebook by posting how I'm always at the gym."

"There's one thing I've learned after my son got hit in the face with dog excrement. I'm rather good at golf."

"My wife likes to quote Soundgarden during sex. ""Won't you come"""

"What's the opposite of a basic Jew? A Hasidic Jew. (Thank you.. Thank you.. I'll be here all week..)"

"There are two girls sitting at a bar, quietly."

"How did the pollock die raking leaves? He fell out of the tree."

"When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps."