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Joke of the Day

"Say, Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sherbert"

"Anyone who claims on the internet that the President is a Communist, should be forced to spend a year in 1934 Siberia."

"Some people are just better left alone. In a jacket, in a room with padded walls."

"what't the difference between a US election and a bunch of sly midgets? [NSFW] one is a bunch of cunning runts and the other is a bunch of running cunts."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You wouldn't know. You weren't there..."

"I walked into the Reddit restaurant. All the servers were busy."

"What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand? Cuatro cinco"

"My doctor diagnosed me with severe lack of observation. That came out of nowhere."

"Jesus may have turned water into wine But I turned a whole student loan check into vodka"

"Even death can't get you out of the friend zone... she'll be at your funeral like ""he was like a brother to me"""