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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me she likes vaginal sex more than anal sex because it's a lot cleaner No shit"

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up."

"GF: I'm moving out if you don't stop pretending you work at a supermarket. ME: Ok. Do you need any help with your packing?"

"Did you hear about the Football player that went to Prison? He went in as a tight end, but left a wide receiver."

"if you don't have hair, will your head skin turn gray when you get old"

"A 3-year old boy A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet,' she replied."

"If she's freaking out, kiss her forehead, hug her & call her beautiful.. If she growls, throw chocolate at her from a safe place"

"[in Paris] Will you have sex with me? ""No monsieur."" Okay, like, I don't speak French. BLINK ONCE FOR NO AND TWICE FOR YES."

"Can someone tell me that Johnny go deeper joke from 15 years ago? I was in middle school and can't remember it completely."

"What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber? The way they pronounce ""unionized"""