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Joke of the Day

"First man discovered fire. Then he invented the wheel. Then there was, like, 500 years where he just kept setting the wheel on fire."

"Between texting, tweeting and E-mails, I haven't spoken a word in the last 3 years."

"You know, redheads... are pumpkin spiced all year round."

"Before Calling Me, ask yourself ""Is This Textable?"""

"What's the difference between a brown noser and a shithead? Depth perception"

"The jokes in this subreddit are so dark I'm surprised they haven't been shot by the police."

"What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

"The Whole Foods next to this movie theater is perfect if you want to sneak in your own snacks, but don't want to save a lot of money."

"Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone? because there was no jack."

"I was attacked at a birthday party by a Mexican man with a baseball bat. Thankfully he was blindfolded and extremely dizzy."