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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk around Dublin thinking he's Bono"

"I just had a baby! It was delicious."

"What's long, hard, and makes my ass hurt? The forty mile bike ride I finished."

"Love your neighbor, but don't get caught."

"What killed the Aztec? A broken heart."

"""Hey, let's make the inside of this building & every square inch of everyone & everything smell like THIS."" -inventor of incense"

"My girlfriend had sex with her ex, instead of breaking up with her I did the same thing. For the record he said I'm a much better kisser."

"Turns out today is Star Wars day... May the fourth be with you."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later."

"What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? The Wall was their last big hit. (ripped off a dark jokes thread a while back)"