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Joke of the Day

"""Hey, let's make the inside of this building & every square inch of everyone & everything smell like THIS."" -inventor of incense"

"I met a pirate the other day, whose parrot was saying, ""Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"" I said, ""Shouldn't that be pieces of eight?"" The pirate replied, ""Arrrrr, it's a parroty error."""

"What's the difference between a Snowman and a Snow- woman?? Snowballs..."

"Not an Ostragoth Pun What do you call a Goth who has a great credit score? A Visa-Goth!"

"Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay Sounds suuuuuuper fun if you don't happen to know what either of they things are."

"How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town? All the Mexicans have car insurance."

"THEM: What's it called when you think about them all the time? ME: Love. T: What if it's about murdering them all the time? M: Also love."

"What is Michael Bay's favorite phone? Note 7"

"I got a job at FedEx OP delivered"

"What does 007 wear on his head? A Bondana."