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Joke of the Day

"People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them."

"What do you call a dancing cow? A milkshake"

"Old people poke me at weddings and tell me ""your next"" So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals"

"My wife's not too smart. I told her, our kids were spoiled. She said, ""All kids smell that way."""

"""No Karen I don't want to see pics of your ugly kids & stupid cats"" or as I usually say: ""Awww how cute"""

"THERAPIST: How does that make you feel? ME: ""Mphh mophh wampph."" T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch."

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere **Knock Knock** Who's there? Not Sally."

"What will happen if somebody were to kill all Scotsmen? They will get off scot-free."

"What do you call 20 niggers in the emergency room? Family reunion They even brought a bucket of KFC"

"I say we take all the bad chemistry jokes and Barium"