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Joke of the Day

"Lovers When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the eleven."

"""Hey bro can you leave me some of the snack? You're eating way too much."" I said ""sure"", then proceeded to put the cat down."

"What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita? Uppsala"

"Dad: Let's talk, we never talk. Me: Okay. I kinda wanna tell you something... Dad: You can tell me anything. Me: I'm Batman. Dad: Get out."

"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler I woke up exhausted"

"What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways? He died on the cross!"

"There was that one time when i screw up my joke. Uh oh Spaghettios."

"What did the green light say to the red light? I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up."

"I live in a high crime neighbourhood if you count socks with sandals."