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Joke of the Day

"Dad: Let's talk, we never talk. Me: Okay. I kinda wanna tell you something... Dad: You can tell me anything. Me: I'm Batman. Dad: Get out."

"new stereotype I just invented: everyone else but me is bad at navigating their cart at Costco"

"Why was the sick eagle in prison? Because she was illegal."

"I put my phone on airplane mode and now I can't bloody find it"

"Doctor doctor I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh I'm all right at night it's in the day I have problems."

"Open letter to the mods of /r/Jokes [deleted]"

"the road to Failure is paved with Doritos."

"I loved Prince, and in my opinion, Michael Jackson was pale in comparison."

"Sound is slower than light... That's why some people appear to be smart before they open their mouth"

"Anyone have any jokes about Rats? Need some good ones!"