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Joke of the Day

"80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction."

"You are all invited to my murder shed, I mean my shed"

"What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula? ""Count Dracula."""

"Claim to fame Celebrities walk on red carpet because they are famous. I walk on toilet paper because I'm the shit!"

"I wonder what hospitals do with all the foreskins."

"What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat? Pounce..."

"I went to see my drug dealer last week, he had some cheap trainers for sale. They were nice so I thought I'd get myself a pair. I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping for days!!"

"Why did the Fonz have red eyes? Because he had **AYYY** fever!"

"What has two holes and smells a lot? Your nose"

"I think my brother is addicted to huffing paint. It's written all over his face."