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Joke of the Day
"I had a crazy dream that I weighed absolutely nothing... ...I was like, 0mg!"
Next Joke
"I told my paralyzed girlfriend I was leaving her... She couldn't stand to see me go..."
"TRAVEL TIP: When you are alone in a hotel room with two beds, that means one bed is for eating on and one bed is for sleeping on."
"A Man Comes into a Bar So a man comes into a bar... or wait no a horse. a man comes into a horse"
"My father complained ""I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men."" Dad, you're using Uber."
"I just used the messiest urinal... If you ever see the model ""Dyson Airblade"" just go use a regular toilet. If you'll excuse me, I need a shower."
"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.."
"Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast] Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!"
"What languages do pigs speak Porktuguese"
"The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful."