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Joke of the Day

"Science fact: a dog extracts more information from smelling a pile of excrement than a human does from reading the Daily Mail."

"Hmm. Nissan Altima TV commercial boasts NASA inspired zero-gravity seats. But if you're in zero gravity, you don't need seats"

"I like my slaves the same way I like my coffee Free"

"Q: How can you tell if a cat is blonde? A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head."

"I just leave my autocorrects so people will think I'm really passionate about ducks."

"Went to an astrologer and found out why my wife and I aren't compatible. I'm a Capricorn and she's a fucking BITCH!"

"A paedophile says to a school boy ""I'll give you a lolly if you come into the van"" The boy replies ""Give me the whole bag and I'll cum into your mouth""."

"Jesus may have walked on water but Steven Hawking runs.. ..on batteries."

"The 1st cup was used in 1874, the 1st helmet was used in 1974. It only took 100 years to learn our brain is also important."

"they say that if you play nickelback backwards, it's devil worship... But even worse, if you play it forwards it's nickelback"