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Joke of the Day

"""Did you hear? Grandpa got burnt the other day."" ""How badly?"" ""Well they don't fuck around at the crematorium."""

"Last night I dreamed I was eating a pillow When I woke up, my 10 pound marshmallow was gone."

"Since the invention of the smart phone, how many times have you clicked a desktop icon once and waited for a response. Ok, just me?"

"Who called them potatoes & not the motherchip."

"Is an inactivist a thing? Because I think I am that."

"NASA confirmed that, in the end of the afternoon of day 21, the skies are going to be very dark. It's a phenomenon called ""Night""."

"What is it called when foreign girls spread their legs? I call it the British open."

"For my next trick I need a condom and a volunteer..."

"Do you want to hear the story about the broken pencil? No? Oh well. There's no point to it, anyway."

"What's black, purple, and hates sex? The kid in my trunk."