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Joke of the Day

"What's black, purple, and hates sex? The kid in my trunk."

"Q: Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache? A: So he could look like his mama."

"Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: And these same stairs did the also go up?"

"What would you do if a kid in your class jumped out of set and took of his shirt, then ran out of the class and hoped onto a segway."

"Why can't Mrs.Clause get pregnant? Santa only comes once a year, and it's always down a chimney."

"America is in the labor room right now... Within 24 hours we will know if it's a boy or a girl."

"Why did the boy jump off the dock? Pier pressure"

"Not usually a big fan of God, but I have admit telling Cruz to run for president then making him lose to a reality TV clown was an A+ prank."

"Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills? Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills...."

"What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller? One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian."