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Joke of the Day

"Two Jews working in a shop. One of them asks: -Abraham, how much is 13 times 8? -Are we buying or selling?"

"Just dropped my iPhone in the bath tub. I think it's syncing."

"What's the deal with lampshades? If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it."

"""I'm on my way."" -People who haven't even left the house yet."

"I googled 'missing medieval servant boy' 404 Paige not found"

"Miley Cyrus down at the post office lickin all the stamps. Mail lady says they're not even that kind of stamp anymore but Miley doesn't stop"

"What's Alex's (from 'A Clockwork Orange') preferred type of light? Ultraviolent"

"Parent Tip: don't tell your child ""I'm waiting, I can wait all day if I have to"" unless you've actually cleared your schedule for the day."

"In blind taste tests, most consumers couldn't tell if a person was blind by tasting them."

"Pulled this one on my son today. Son: Dad, today is palm Sunday. Me (Dad): Gimme some palm. *receives high five* Son: *not entertained*"