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Joke of the Day
"After decades of research scientists in Texas have discovered a new use for sheep! Wool!"
Next Joke
"I bought a universal remote today. I was disappointed to find out that it does not, in fact, control the universe. Not even remotely."
"If I had Pokemon, I'd pretend to understand them. They'd go ""Bulba bulbaaasaur"" and I'd be like ""What do u mean Hitler did nothing wrong?"""
"Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party."
"According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ."
"if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off"
"Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream? Both are in *a la mode*."
"How do you know the guy sucking your dick is gay? He's holding it with his pinky in the air."
"""I'm so nervous,... ...this is the first time that I'm with a prostitute."" ""Just relax and tell me what you like."" ""I like turtles"" :-)"
"Kelloggs is introducing a new Game of Thrones inspired breakfast cereal. Oberyn Crunch."