212859

Joke of the Day

"New Band I recently started a new band: We have to play every song in a certain order and we all have to be symmetrical on stage. We're called OC/DC."

"I had to return those books on Middle Eastern agricultural products. They were past the Dubai dates."

"Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer? Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system."

"If sex is the food of life, then masturbation is a snack in between meals."

"Your mother walks into the bar It's ""the"" bar because she's so fat she's in every bar."

"Why don't amateur pornstars use big words? Because they're all laymen."

"Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper? It's finger licking good."

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have big flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."

"Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'."

"A couple orders a pie at a luxury restaurant The husband eats 4/7 of the pie and the wife the rest. He paid 4.5$ more than her. How much did the pie cost? Answer in comments"