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Joke of the Day

"How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but it takes eight million years."

"Why did the blood-sucking bat hate the taste of blood? Because it was too irony."

"People who make you feel special are keepers. Anyone with such good taste has to be admired."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh"

"Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows"

"Men have a basic understanding of complex ideas. Women have a complex understanding of basic ideas."

"PAROLE BOARD: And what would you do if released? ME: Crimes. PB: Excuse me? ME: *leans into mic* RHYMES. I'M SUPER INTO POETRY NOW."

"Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus"

"I follow back all spambots. I even star some of their tweets, because I'm looking for a spot in middle management when the robots take over."

"Some people hate the thought of adult diapers.... But I say, ""It's just Depends."""