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Joke of the Day

"10 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed... ...One fell off and snapped his neck. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said: ""It's no use, this monkey is dead!"""

"My 6 year old daughter told me this morning that she wanted to grow up and be a feminist.. I told her she could only choose one."

"A man and his zebra There lives a man and his zebra Jose. Jose is hard of sight. Every morning, just at dawn, the man takes out Jose and askes him ""Jose, can you see by the dawn's early light?"""

"When the grid crashes and there's no other way of communicating, we'll see whose drum circle is ""stupid""."

"I may not be perfect but I am always me."

"""Welcome to the jungle"" Thanks. ""We've got fun and games"" Cool. ""You're in the jungle"" We've established this ""You're gonna die!"" Wait what?"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was *two tired*."

"Old man first world problem I can't use a fleshlight without first using viagara"

"My mom threw away all my Linkin Park CDs and kicked me out of the house. But in the end it doesn't even matter."

"I used to hang out with a guy who was covered in mushrooms. He was an all around fun guy."