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Joke of the Day

"I just got back from a once in a lifetime trip.... ....I'll tell you what, never again"

"Grasshopper walks into a bar Bartender goes ""*hey! you.... we have a drink named after you, buddy!*"" Grasshopper excitingly responds ""*no way! You have a drink named Steve?*"""

"Q. How do you keep a blonde at home? A. Build a circular driveway."

"Why are divorces so damn expensive? Because they are fucking worth it!"

"If my teachers don't become Ms. Frizzle anytime soon, I will just keep not paying attention."

"Steve-""My wife is a very careful driver"". Smith-""How do you know that""? Steave-""She Always Slows down when passing a red light""!"

"Me: lets go get a drink! Friend: what's the occasion? Me: ... Friend: ... Me: I don't understand the question."

"Boss: It's been a tough year Jim J: Am I laid off? B: No J: Fired? B: No J: What then? B: You're to be executed at noon. J: This is bullshit"

"Why can not Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black."

"Facebook is down, so don't say prayer doesn't work."