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Joke of the Day

"Boss: It's been a tough year Jim J: Am I laid off? B: No J: Fired? B: No J: What then? B: You're to be executed at noon. J: This is bullshit"

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"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
"What do you call a duck on a rampage? Amok"
"What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number? Nought two sixty."
"What do you call a fruit that is a vegetable? A crippled homo."
"My ex had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil I still don't know how much she charged him though."
"TIFU by not paying attention while ordering at Subway. Whoops, wrong sub."
"A blind person, and girl drop into a well Girl says: It's so dark in here, don't you agree? Blind guy: Sigh* Girl: Oh so you're deaf too."
"Teacher and John Teacher: John. Give me a sentence beginning with ""I"". Paul: I is the... Teacher: No, John . You must say ""I am"" not ""I is."" John: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
"""What are you getting this Christmas?"" asked my friend. I said, ""Fatter."""