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Joke of the Day

"Grasshopper walks into a bar Bartender goes ""*hey! you.... we have a drink named after you, buddy!*"" Grasshopper excitingly responds ""*no way! You have a drink named Steve?*"""

"*pretends to throw a ball and my dog chases after it* haha idiot *checks email* holy shit i won a million dollars??"

"What was shaken and is now stirred? Haiti."

"What do you call hiding in a Michael Bay movie? Kabamouflage"

"And asks for a drink... A time traveller walks into a bar."

"The Hitman A hitman walks out of a bar, and into the elevator of a nearby apartment building. He takes it to the floor that his next ""victim"" lives on. He was hired to kill a Reddito"

"H:""Where'd you get those shoes?"" Me:""I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw?"" H:""Nope just cleaned the old one"" *Marriage lies"

"What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things? A **Poultry**geist. Thanks! I will show myself out."

"My Girlfriend is Like the square root of -100 A perfect ten, but completely imaginary."

"If you spin an Chinese man around a hundred times... does he get disoriented?"