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Joke of the Day

"I tried to join the mile high club once But nobody gave a flying fuck."

"I wear Lacoste shirts with the little crocodile on them because when shit goes down I want crocodiles to know that I'm on their side."

"Why were George and Lennie sad? (Of mice and men joke) Because they ran out of Weed :D"

"I was in the car with my girlfriend, and I started hearing this annoying whining noise... So my girlfriend got out to look at the engine and I drove off."

"Life is beautiful but I prefer boobs"

"Father's Day Fun: 1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family. 2) Hug him. 3) Tell him 'Happy Father's Day dad'! 4) Run."

"Did you hear about the man who bought a bucket load of Tipp-ex last week? Big mistake."

"Why is that cotton candy talking? Grandma, that's Nicki Minaj."

"The more girls I have sex with... the more I love my goat."

"Why did the kid put his clock in the oven. He wanted to have a hot time."