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Joke of the Day

"Apparently If ur BF says ""if anything happens to me,I want u to meet someone new...."" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic."

"Last night I had a nightmare that Ann Coulter died and came back to haunt me... ...she was a coultergeist"

"What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt. :)"

"Whenever someone well known dies, social networks turn into an online obituary. #DontActLikeYouCare, @MaleHonesty86"

"My friend told an out of place joke about police searches. But I don't think it was warranted."

"Are hamburgers male? Yes because they're boygers not girlgers!"

"This weekend is daylight savings time, which means the clock on my microwave will be right again."

"Playing 8-person smash was one of the deepest and most thought provoking experiences I've ever had... I spent the whole time trying to find myself"

"I am quite ambitious every morning. I always do 10 sit-ups, just to hit the snooze button 10 times."

"Humpty Dumpty , that sly bastard Humpty Dumpty sat on his bed, As Little Bo Beep was giving him head, Just as he came she began to weep, She could tell by the taste, He'd been screwing her sheep ! !"