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Joke of the Day

"""What do we want!"" ""Hearing aids!"" ""When do we want them!"" ""Hearing aids!"""

"I like my coffee like I like my girls Without a penis."

"Why do they make Raisin Bran commercials? For raisin bran awareness."

"A rabbi and a Catholic priest were talking When the priest asked the rabbi - ""When will you ever eat from my food?"" To which the rabbi immediately responded - ""At your wedding"""

"If you crush a cockroach, you're a hero. If you crush a beautiful butterfly, you're a villain. Morals have aesthetic criteria."

"When I die I want everyone.. ..... come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back and not say a word, so everyone will think I lived a cool double life."

"What do you call a book filled with outlines of Star Wars characters? A Kylo Ren Book"

"[REPOST] How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him."

"If you're in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible."

"The Heist A man walks into the bank with a pistol. He aims the gun at his head and yells, ""Give me the money!""."