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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the two melons get married? Because they cantaloupe."

"What do you call the act of lying about Penis size? A Phallacy"

"I'm sorry this birthday cake suffered a severe accident where my hand fell into it and a chunk of it filled my mouth."

"[nearing end of first date] Me: I'll give you a call later, OK? Her: *throws phone in river* I lost my phone."

"What is Imperator Furiosa's least favorite type of ice cream? Rocky Road."

"I wanted to start a business selling soap art, but soapart.com was already taken by a support group for divorcees."

"My girlfriend is reading a book about ""love languages"". Hers is verbal. Mine is oral."

"When I can't tell someone's gender, I kick the closest toddler and see how they react."

"Therapist: *pulls up in a brand new Mercedes* Me: You're welcome"

"I have an intense fear of hiccups Luckily, I only ever have one."