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Joke of the Day
"Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer? The grass tickles their balls."
Next Joke
"Why wasn't the bear allowed to drive? Because bears don't have fine *motor* skills"
"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I dont mind doing a 5km but I cant be fucked doing a 10km run"
"The difference between ""she's jogging & healthy"" vs ""she's in danger & I should help"" is headphones."
"the easiest way to get a ghost to stop hauntimg u is to change ur wifi password and act like u hav no idea why he cant conect to it anymore"
"Why do robots never cuddle after sex? Because all a robot does is nuts and bolts."
"Has anybody ever noticed that you can get salmonella from chicken...but not chickenmonella from salmon?"
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
"I got a good one for you guys 1"
"I took a really sloppy poo today... My ass was wiped more times than Ian Watkins' search history"