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Joke of the Day

"There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up."

"They're working on a series in which Bob Odenkirk is the star... It's called Better Call Sol."

"Marriage is like a pack of cards... Marriage is like a pack of cards: all you need at the start are two hearts and a diamond, but you end up wishing you had a club and a spade..."

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old? Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window"

"If you ever laugh so hard that your ass actually comes off, shit probably stops being funny real quick."

"I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my grandad in that concentration camp during the war... Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion..."

"Life is so unfair. Why does eating make you fat? Killing people should make you fat. Being an asshole should make you fat. GOD WHY EATING??"

"What flavor do termites like best? Chair-y"

"Why did the TSA hire a dentist? to help with the cavity searches"

"A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. ""That's so cool"" says the bartender, ""where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" replies the parrot."