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Joke of the Day

"If you ever laugh so hard that your ass actually comes off, shit probably stops being funny real quick."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but only if the lightbulb really *wants* to change."

"Walking condoms Two condoms are walking down the street. As they pass a gay bar one turns to the other and says.... you wanna go inside and get shit faced?"

"How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug? It makes me sick."

"Why do pedophiles like to play guitar? Because it's completely ok to finger A minor"

"Public restrooms are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet and is wearing heels on one pair."

"Whats the difference between a dead dog on the side of the road and a dead lawyer on the side of the road? There are skidmarks before the dog."

"What has two asses and can kill you? An assassin"

"What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama? Interracial"

"Why was it so easy to find the buried communist treasure after the Cold War? Because X Marx the spot."