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Joke of the Day

"What did JFK say after banging Marilyn Monroe? ""Some men have greatness thrust upon them, some men thrust upon greatness."""

"Next time my cat has some friends over, I'm going to puke right next to where they are sitting and see how she likes it."

"If you're white, you should always get to go ahead first instead of the blacks. Is one of the first rules of chess."

"I once visited The Virgin Islands. When I left, they were just called The Islands."

"Santa hates penguins True fact. Santa hates penguins. In truth, they are polar opposites."

"1.25pm: Do you love me more than football? 4.25pm: Yes, of course."

"How to tell if your house is haunted... ...it isn't."

"The human body is 80% water, so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety."

"What kind of moron invented the fire blanket Surely fire is warm enough already?"

"Where did the gay Wizard go? He disappeared with a poof."