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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a spoon! Well sit still and don't stir!"

"They said Brexit would let us get closer to non-EU countries. They were right, we now have more in common with Zimbabwe than ever before."

"I heard your sister built a brothel. With the bricks your mother got from prostitution."

"When you refuse to pay your exorcist: ...you get repossessed."

"Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off."

"The early bird gets the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese!"

"In Florida, a couple has been accused of making meth in a public library. Isn't that crazy? Florida has a library. -Conan Monologue June 12, 2014"

"Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers!"

"Define ""Will"" Isn't it obvious? It's a dead giveaway!"

"Children in the backseat cause accidents. But accidents in the backseat cause children."