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Joke of the Day

"Why is Robert Pattison so pale? There's no sunlight in the closet."

"My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So I have to sit when I pee now."

"I wish celebrities would let us know if they have the greatest fans in the world."

"The only thing worse than having a small penis... Is having small arms."

"Ladies, men like it when your hair has lots of body, not the other way around."

"Next wedding Im saying its a open bar but when u get there its going to be cash.Just b/c its a 3rd wedding doesnt mean u can skip it slacker"

"Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service."

"An accountant at a bank was constipated Apparently he couldn't budget, but he worked it out with a pencil and paper and it was all good."

"I found out it was snowing by looking outside. WTF Twitter? You are suppossed to tell me these things first."

"I can't decide whether to go to Australia or Thailand this year for a holiday. So I decided to weigh up the pros and cons of both. Australia has a load of Cons, but Thailand has lots of Pros."