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Joke of the Day

"'McDonalds is the biggest sponsor of the 2012 olympic games'. We've officially reached the point where satire doesn't need punchlines."

"Why did the kid punch the bed? His mother told him to hit the hay."

"Why did the mafia cross the road? Hey forget about it"

"I've been all over the web looking for a combination fly swatter/back scratcher. I'm tired of lugging both around all day."

"I don't like paying for pizza because I hate making my pizza feel like a whore."

"Wow 15 notifications.. oh wait 13 of them are for farmville, cityville, I dont give a shit-ville"

"[making small talk at a business function] ""You're 35 aren't you?"" ""No, I'm 38"" ""Oh right"" [long silence] ""Did you used to be 35?"""

"Me and my girlfriend of 16 years split apart yesterday... It was a bad car accident. I really do miss my right hand."

"What happens when you call a Trump supporter xenophobic? They do a quick google search and then agree with you."

"I'm a screamer Not sexually just life in general"