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Joke of the Day

"Make sure to tip your waitress. It's pretty funny when they fall over."

"If you know this one than we are probably friends. * Man 1: Knock Knock. * Man 2: Who's there? * Man 1: KGB. * Man 2: KGB wh- *get's slapped* * Man 1: WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!"

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Bird flu you get tweetment, swine flu you get oinkment."

"Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps."

"What was the crow doing up on the telephone pole? He was making a long-distance caw."

"Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon."

"What are your best political jokes?"

"So Billy is watching a sexy car video where two cars are making out while loving it and eachother. His Mom says, ""Are you WILLY to learn how to drive?"""

"Let's take all the bad science jokes... And barium."