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Joke of the Day

"Sorry feminists... Why do doctors slap babies butts when they come out? To knock the balls off the dumb ones."

"Stuck in a hug. It went 5 seconds too long & now we're too stubborn to let go. Whoever dies first loses THE HUG WAR."

"I don't mean to brag but I've perfected the confused look whenever my credit cards get declined"

"My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She is using sighcology"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill; each one had a quarter When they came down Jill had both, You think they went for water?"

"Her: You don't have to cook me dinner, we can just go out. Me *tossing a jellyfish in the air like pizza dough* No it's fine I don't mind.."

"I was going to dress up as a turn signal for Halloween But no one around here knows what the hell that is!"

"Avast, me buckos! It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so let's hear your most swashbuckling puns and AAAARRRRRRGUE about whose is best/worst."

"How to tell if you're girlfriend is TOO fat. When she sits on your face and you can't hear your stereo any more."

"Whoever said nothing good comes easy Never had a premature ejaculation."