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Joke of the Day

"What do a mystic and a hot dog vendor have in common? They'll both make you one with everything."

"In June of last year, a beautiful woman on the subway saw me yawn & then she yawned. So I think we can cool it with the ""virgin"" talk."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob"

"A married man's prayer; Dear God, you gave me childhood, you took it away You gave me youth, you took it away. You gave me a wife.......... Its been years now... Just reminding you......"

"What's the difference between young girls and photographs? After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop."

"Did you hear about the man who stole that train this morning??? Some say he had a... Loco-motive! I have no life and just made that up while playing gta5... Ill show myself to the door... :'("

"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctor described his condition as stable."

"I told you not to let those pigs In my office. Now look what's happened. They've eaten all the dates off my calendar!"

"I sincerely hope Trump does become President Because at least Australian Politics won't be the butt of every joke anymore. Sincerely, still a rather embarrassed Australian citizen."

"Did you here what the waiter did at the restaurant? He waited"