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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people? There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number."

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... ...well would you look at that, it's a tie."

"What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe? A refund. credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)"

"What do you call a midget with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."

"Which American President was least guilty? Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent."

"*nervously plays with tie* ""I'm sorry. I'm no good during job interviews."" That's ok, just let go of my tie and go on your side of the desk."

"Do we really need cheese AND other kinds of food? Seems greedy."

"Before you criticise someone... Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticise them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"I wrote a status about unemployment earlier, but didn't post it. It needs some work."

"If you have trouble spelling... Go to the internet, there are always peeple who will corecct you"