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Joke of the Day

"Which American President was least guilty? Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent."

"Me: Can I have a quickie? Waitress: Sir, it's pronounced ""quiche""."

"I won't believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status."

"Hey baby, there's a party in my pants. And urine.. ...Vited."

"What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room? MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"When my dad caught me smoking a cigarette he took me out to the shed and forced me to teach him how to be hella cool."

"I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery hashtag nofilter"

"Axl Rose: Where do we go? Me: Left Axl: Where do we go now? Me: Straight. Axl: Oh, where do we go now? Me: Damn it, Axl, let me drive!"

"How do you piss off a redditor? This GOD-DAMN joke has been reposted SO many times, and its not even clever in the first place!!! Im super serial guys, knock it off."

"A businessman comes into work distraught, wearing a bloody suit.NSFW A coworker asks him, ""What happened to your tie?"" He responds, ""I had to kill that whore because she had a freaking dick."""