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Joke of the Day

"The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit."

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"""what if today's the day you learn about tacos and ostriches? You don't want to miss that, do you?"" - me manipulating my kid to school."
"Whenever my wife sing, i open up my room windows so the neighbors don't think I'm beating her."
"Sport Fishermen Are all about that bass"
"What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo."
"[at hairstylist] Make me look like I'm running really fast."
"What's the most sensitive part of your body while masturbating Your ears."
"Why do we hire Nazis as Game Developers? Because they're Pro-Grammer."
"Tower: Hawk 20 is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ? Pilot: Negativ Sir. It's only the same pilot."
"Dear diary, Sometimes it just seems like I can't tell if something is an inanimate object or a person My therapist: Yes that's quite clear"