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Joke of the Day
"Why did the kid only water half the lawn? Because there was a 50% chance of rain"
Next Joke
"What's it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors? A Julius Seizure."
"I may have to divorce my wife... My son broke both his arms today."
"It looks like I'm missing a lot of tweets. They were probably so great the Library of Congress just couldn't wait to archive them."
"*limbos away from your hug*"
"Buying my parents' house. Soon, like so many of the 'ladies' here... I too will be a middle aged man tweeting from his mom's basement."
"A Tiny Joke Zack's penis."
"Eight. It took me eight tries to get the USB drive in the right hole. This leads me to believe that if I was a guy the sex would be horrible"
"Not a catfish. Just behind on my lip waxing."
"""What is that, a banana? Aw, who gives a shit."" -Disinterested George"