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Joke of the Day

"I've always heard that karma's a bitch... ...not like I'd know. Thanks, Reddit."

"The best part of waking up is still mystery to me."

"if the gas station is 2 miles away.. ..and my dad's car can travel at 60mph, why hasn't he returned from getting cigarettes after 6 years?"

"If your name is Sullivan, you've got a good name, but if you go by your nickname you've Sully'd your good name"

"I'm doing asbestos I can.. dealing with mesothelioma."

"How many people with ADHD does it take to change a - oh look, tree!"

"Why did hitler killed himself? He got the bill for gas"

"sapnu puaS Read it upside down"

"I run up to the firefighter as he drags another charred body out of my burning home. ""Did you see a zip disk labeled POEMS in there?"""

"Ear wax is disgusting. But when you're out of Vegemite, you're out of Vegemite."