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Joke of the Day

"What Do You Call A 7 Second Minecraft Video? VINECRAFT DO IT FOR THE MINE XD"

"{about to have sex} Her: *seductively kicks off heels and rips open blouse Me: *panics as I look for a spot to set down my half eaten taco"

"The first thing I'm going to do when I'm rich is buy an airline flight for everyone who works at the DMV and then delay the flight forever."

"i just read this article...did you know 50% of asian business men have cataracts... the other half drive rincoln towncars"

"Playing Trivial Pursuit with Grandma: ""Name an animated character dedicated to cleaning up the planet, who loves Eva?"" Nana: ""Hitler."""

"""Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."" - Me to my children."

"Death is coming to take a lawyer away The lawyer is weeping, ""why now? I am only fourty!"" Death replies, ""not according to the hours you billed your clients""."

"I like my coffee how I like my women... imported"

"I feel bad for Kim-Jong Un It's hard being the fat kid in high school, so it must be really difficult being the only fat kid in the country."

"Ted: ""Dad, why don't I have a middle name?"" Dad: ""Actually son, Ted is your middle name. Your first name is Adop"""