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Joke of the Day

"""Behold, a 3 headed cat"" ""um, its just 3 cats taped together"" ""Behold, a 12 legg...*tape rips, one cat runs away*..errr 8 legged cat."""

"Went into a massage parlor & asked for the happy ending, now I'm tucked into bed with a Korean woman reading me Cinderella."

"Do you like Dragons? Cause I'm gunna be dragon these balls across your face!"

"Shout out to my sweatpants for loving me through thick and thicker."

"What's the most racist math discipline? Statistics."

"I'm dyslexic and wanted to write Santa But Satan showed up."

"My dentist said I have a very wet mouth. *Updates dating profile."

"What do you call an Itallian hooker? A pasta-tuite!"

"ISIS should hire me... I have a lot of experience when it comes to bombing, especially on final exams."

"I can only imagine the sorts of crazy, sexy pictures of coffee that people are hiding in those ""private"" instagram accounts."