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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when you sneak into a homosexual wedding? A gay-tecrash Dad joke, right there"

"What do you call a rooster from China? Caucasian"

"Hiding my rewards card in the bushes by my coffee shop so I don't have to keep freakin' remembering to bring it"

"You hear Steve Sarkisian actually wanted to be a lawyer? He couldn't pass the bar"

"Helen Keller just found out about LSD. She thinks it'll make her see things."

"The fences at the zoo are to keep the animals safe from Chuck Norris."

"I went camping with a bunch of supermodels once. It was pretty in tents."

"My kids wouldn't stop asking me who my favorite is so I said the dog & now they're crying and I'm like THIS IS WHY THE DOG IS MY FAVORITE."

"I just saw a woman with a tremendous amount of make up and I was really tempted to use my finger and write ""wash me"" on her face"

"Only 5 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.."