111346
Joke of the Day
"You hear Steve Sarkisian actually wanted to be a lawyer? He couldn't pass the bar"
Next Joke
"How do you know when you have a high sperm count? Your partner has to chew before swallowing..."
"This Xanax script says I should take one daily as needed but I'm pretty sure they meant per child so, including the dogs, that makes five."
"I don't always tell dad jokes But when I do, he laughs."
"I thought time away from my phone would be good, but then I thought of a tweet & had to write it on a Post-it note like some fucking savage."
"How can you tell a mechanic has gotten lucky? He's got one clean finger!"
"What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed? How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?"
"Why won't a bike stand up by itself? It's two tired."
"What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."
"Ten years from now mankind will be illiterate, and we'll only communicate through pictures of our breakfasts."