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Joke of the Day

"Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?"

"Q: Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school? A: She wanted to be a nurse."

"I had a sip of the Milky Way galaxy. It turns out I'm galactose intolerant."

"What tool turns a 20mm hole into a 100mm hole? A pedophile."

"My friend had a dog... My friend had a dog that could only bark below 100hz. It was a sub woofer"

"Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory? All he did was take a day off."

"There are three men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches. How did they manage to smoke? They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter"

"I tried to impress a girl by putting my foot down on the pedal... ..turns out she'd seen a bin open like that before."

"I suffer from premature procrastination. It's when you procrastinate before even receiving a task..."

"Women want to be equal to men in every aspect except dating. You all want the same positions in the rest of the world but still expect to be wined and dined. How about steaks and bjs for the guys."